Love it or hate it- it’s that time of the year again. And unless one buries oneself in the most remote parts of the world, it’s hard to get away from it all. So we just have to try our best to get through it and hopefully enjoy it and make it meaningful.

Christmas has always, with the exception of a few years, brought up mixed emotions in me. When I used to be a believer, I love Christmas for being the celebration of Christ’s birth. Since then, Christmas is very much about being with loved ones and yes, I do look forward to the presents. Recently, Christmas is simply a time for thankfulness, gratitude, peace and being with loved ones. That to me is the essence of Christmas.

Christmas can also give me a sense of dread. Having lived in various countries away from family for many years, I’ve had more than my fair share of Not-Merry Christmases. You see, there is so much pressure to be happy at Christmas, so much expectation that Christmas should be done and celebrated in a certain way and then there is the commercial notions  and the rampant consumerism of the season that leaves me cold (esp. since I became a minimalist).

Merry Christmas? Easier said than done. It’s easy to fall prey to depression, anxiety and stress during the holiday season. Spending money and even going into debt to buy gifts, spending time with family and people whom you don’t get on that well with the rest of the year, remembering loved ones who are not with you for one reason or another- Christmas can be tough. And to top it off, there are the cold dark days and the even colder, darker nights to grapple with.

Becoming a minimalist has inspired me to review my Christmas card and gift giving- I’m not necessarily thinking ‘less’, just ‘different’. I’ve never had a long list of people to write cards to or give presents to so it wasn’t too hard to simplify the list but I wanted to make it more meaningful. I’ve reduced the number of cards I’ve been sending out over the years- to those who would actually notice and appreciate it. I like to spend time writing the cards; that is something more than writing ‘To’ and signing it off with ‘From’- what’s the point I always wonder? I want to make each card count-  writing more personal wishes for the season and/or sharing something about what I’ve been up to.

Presents- to give or not to give? Nothing wrong with giving- I’ve bought presents for a selected few and I find it hard to  turn down books and book tokens from others. However they are many ways in which we can give, just as there are many ways in which we can show our love apart from giving things, clothes, consumer goods etc. We can give our time- spending quality time together is a gift, baking a cake for someone is a gift.  We can gift experiences- tickets to a favourite concert, a day at the spa- and as they are not physical stuff, they are not going to end up as clutter. If you decide to buy gifts, at least make an effort to find out what the recipient really needs/wants? How many times have we ended up with things we don’t like/need? It’s such a waste.

I think most people have a lovely time with their family and friends during Christmas- it’s an opportunity to be with loved ones and people you don’t see much during the year. However, there is a lot of pressure in not being alone at Christmas that many who usually find the company of family and loved ones unbearable and stressful would grit their teeth and feel obliged to attend the family gathering. I sometimes wonder if they are not better off spending it alone, in a way they please and having to please no one but themselves? Might not be very merry but at least it’s peaceful?

For a merrier Christmas, find out the essence of Christmas for you, give up the expectations of the season and just accept things as they are. Even better, make it a little bit happier for people who never have a normal Christmas- it’s a meaningful way to spend the day. Just do whatever makes us happy, loving, grateful and at peace- that’s my wish for myself and for you all.